"Like Sisypuhus, my each day resembles his penance for a crime I didn’t commit."

Fear is what it's all about. I must vanquish fear. I must wrestle fear. I must become fear.

These are all incoherent gibberish at this point but it do be like that.

The days are bleeding into each other at these points and I dont think there is much of hope left for the pre-curfew normalcy will probably never return. Productivity is important but how can I be productive if I have this small thing in my mind? I really wouldnt know. There is not much to do now. I hope I get to learn things and not just get lost like specks of dust. Sleep is as much rare as a miracle nowadays as it makes me extremely guilty. Should I farm for the harold or should I learn something worthwhile ? God's wrath is upon all of us but he has also spared time to us as a generosity. This is nonsense. I dont believe in god, or do I ? Maybe I do, I just dont trust in god. Not after he pulled so many sneaky on me.

I have about thirty ex to spare and I think harold can roll with this. But I will still be patient and still try to scrape off at it.

My mouth is very dry, I dont know why. I seem to have contracted some kind of fungal overgrowth and infection on the both corners of my mouth. Angular Cheilitis, thats what it is called. But heck, maybe its not gonna get cured. Its summer and im getting skin problems that I get during winter. The world is truly upside down.

My scars are finally healing. But this just means that its time to renew them or to get new ones. I mean thats how its gonna be right?

What about Music? I can't understand you, what did you say? Do I see the fun in music? Hell no, I'm a- I'm a by-ear man, I wrote on my fucking piano roll. I'm not a nerd like Bach. I'm a- I'm a professional. I started at FL Studio in 2010 and wrote poor ass songs. The difference in a professional and amateur n- the diffy- the difference between an amateur and a professional is you write your own poor ass songs, okay? I have a 20,000 note divine intellect up- uh- composition that plays just in time and ahead of time. You seem to be in denial. Once you fucking download my 2 meg- you download my 2 meg midi file that has all the notes on it, you can play with my fucking daw. You're an harmonic cuck, a cuck.